on the aftershock of other women

a joy, is what this story was. of the ex-wife, who dares take the "other woman" to task for admitting to having an affair with her husband. of the ex-wife asserting that it was inappropriate, and really, how it was just "uncool".

because even when the story of infidelity has become familiar, it is not something that's easy to swallow. or forget. there is ego (because what else does infidelity highlight but the truth of competition -- and someone winning over you). there is anger (because there is dishonesty and injustice). there is pain (because memory is difficult to erase. or deny). because there is always a victim.

here, where we come from, the other woman is rarely talked about. there was of course that book on learning from your husband's mistress long ago. but more than anything that made fun of the mistress and the stereotypical filipino wife -- an affront to both of them.

otherwise, there is usually silence about the other woman here. we talk about them behind their backs, we whisper amongst ourselves about how certain love affairs started, but we never take these women to task. (or the men, which is subject for another entry all together.) we also rarely hear the other woman speak.

i imagine that this silence has much to do with society siding with the (ex-)wife (or girlfriend), and wanting to save her from any more talk or images of betrayal.

but now is a time when the betrayed is not allowed to forget. because now the other woman hasn't just found her right to speak, she has begun to feel entitled. to re-writing history; to forgetting; to imagining that she is faultless. so she talks about her love story as if she were not, not ever, the other woman. she posts pictures that point to the beginning of her love story, as if it was nothing but beautiful, and honest, and true.

it's not just uncool, it's tasteless.

of course it's entirely possible that all she's doing is revealing that she's in denial about history repeating itself.